Paralyzing Love

I was talking to a friend last night online. Out of boredom, we decided to play a word association game. I’d say a word(s) or phrase, and she would respond with the first word(s) that came to her mind. You know how the drill goes. We did this on and on for a while, and then we changed positions. She threw out the word and I responded. That proved to yield an interesting conversation about love and life, as seems to be the case when you’re a 30-something who’s single and searching. I said something, and I don’t know where it came from, but I immediately knew one of the reasons I’d been feeling a bit melancholy lately. I will share that part of the conversation with you here.

Miss Red State: I was watching the movie Man on a Ledge—the extra commentary—and they asked the actor how it felt to be on a ledge all those flights up (even harnessed in).

And he was trying to explain, then he said, “It’s like being in love. You don’t know until you experience it” or something like that.

MsInklination: SMHA*

Miss Red State: So I assumed that love is discombobulating, makes you queasy, scared. But then it made me go, “What about us love deprived people? We don’t get the reference.”

MsInklination: Hmph. What about love deprived people? You’re right. That’s a legitimate question. Love is all those things plus exhilarating … and fun … and liberating.

Miss Red State: Really? It seems debilitating.

MsInklination: How so? Let me understand what you mean before I respond.

Miss Red State: You’re either frozen to keep it as is (not mess it up, limiting your actions, etc.) or frozen when it leaves, if that makes sense?

MsInklination: In that case, yes, it can be debilitating. But true, pure, everyone-deserves-to-feel-it-at-least-once love is so much more liberating than it ever is debilitating. When it becomes debilitating, it’s also losing its right to be called love.

Miss Red State: So was loving Mistah liberating …?

MsInklination: Yep. Very much so. Used to be.

Miss Red State: That’s something. “When it becomes debilitating, it’s also losing its right to be called love.

MsInklination: Dang. That was kinda … “Where’d that come from?!” huh?! LOL!

Miss Red State: It was … That was deep … … So is it better to have love and lost?

MsInklination: All things considered, definitely.

What do you think? Is it better to love and lost than never to have loved at all? Do you agree with MsInklnation that debilitating love isn’t really love? What is love? And the times you’ve thought it was love, but in hindsight recognized it wasn’t, what was it? 

*MsInklination friend-lingo for “shaking my head in the affirmative”

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~ by MsInklination on August 17, 2012.

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