Homework 101

Research, research, research. That singular thing stated thrice for emphasis separates the ignorant from the knowledgeable.

I sat behind the steering wheel of my car, talking away to Shorty Do-Op at one of the service stations not far from my house. The station isn’t the scummiest, but it isn’t the nicest either. Shorty Do-Op and I had been on the phone for about 10 minutes, but I shall never be able to recall what it was we were so passionately discussing, when an intruder upon the conversation stopped at my window.

“Hey,” the man said gruffly but without offense.

I kept talking, not even acknowledging his presence.

“Hey,” he repeated with the same gruffness and a skosh of annoyance.

The annoyance in his voice beckoned me to look, so I turned my head slightly to the right, but then gave a quick, fake smile and tried to keep talking.

“Let me ask you something,” he said in his elevated tone, I assume because he didn’t want me to mistake the fact that he was talking to me.

I hesitated and cracked my window a few inches so I could hear. My eyebrows rose involuntarily, inquiring, “What is it?”

Hustleman, dressed in his car salesman work polo, khaki pants and modern-looking Members Only jacket tried to allure me. “I got some Christian Louboutin bags in the car. They’re $100. I’m selling ’em for $35. You oughta get you one.”

“Bwahahaha!” I laughed to myself, “What kind of fool do you take me for?!” but instead I said, “No, thank you,” with a chuckle.

“What? You sure?” Hustleman asked, confused. “Christian Louboutin. $100. $35,” he said, leaving out non-essential words, choosing, instead to emphasize the key ones.

I shook my head “no,” with a disappointed look on my face. Hustleman walked back to his pearl-white Cadillac Deville and drove off. He was probably off to the next gas station, hoping this time he’d make two sales to make up for the one I didn’t offer him.

Hustleman doesn’t know one of my hobbies is stalking Louboutin via the designer’s website. More than that, he doesn’t know anything about the original product that he’s selling knockoffs of out of his trunk. Had he, he certainly wouldn’t have advertised that the original price of the product he was selling was $100–for a purse, no less. One hundred dollars is not the market value of a Christian Louboutin anything.

Research, research, research, Hustleman. You, of all people, should know that.


~ by MsInklination on September 20, 2011.

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