You Must be Tired ‘Cause …

I’m not a good flirter.

My sense of humor is dry, my wit is quick and laced with sarcasm. When I try to be funny, I’m usually not, and when I’m not trying, I’m probably telling a “joke”–more like commentary–about a book I read or something I learned while watching The History Channel or Public Broadcasting.

I’m not good at small talk, and if you’re not good at … big talk, our conversation will probably be a lot of you doing small-minded pontificating and my responding, “On really?”

See there. I said small-minded pontificating. Though I can be a nurturer, I’m also a snob. An intellectual snob, specifically, one of my friends calls me.

Don’t misunderstand me, I can be silly. In fact, I love being silly. But I can’t be silly with everybody, just like I can’t kiss just anybody. Add to this list, I’m not a fan of unoriginality. When I’m approached with, “So what do you like to do for fun?” I always give the same answer: “I hate fun.” I don’t really, of course, but I’m pretty sure I could never have fun with a man who asks me the same question he’s asked 291 girls before me. He’s not the guy for me in this moment, at any point tomorrow or probably this lifetime. I say this with 99 percent confidence.

These truths about me make for a bad flirter.

Friends have tried to teach me to be more flirty. Their efforts were in vain. When I’m trying to flirt, I’m never taken seriously. And when birds and bees are the furthest from my mind, a guy inevitably approaches me asks what my sign is, “You’re not from here, are you?” and something about fun, so we never get too far.

I had a conversation last week with a fellow. A fine fellow, I might add. We’re chatting back and forth, he’s laughing, I’m laughing, neither of us out of courtesy, I don’t think. I say to him, “You should buy me some roses, as long as they’re not red.” He laughed and agreed, asking first why I didn’t like red roses. I explained. He says, “Ahhh, I like that,” and I’m still waiting for my roses. Seems like I’m often waiting.

This post has no point, and now you know I’m not a flirter and probably never will be. Bless my heart.


~ by MsInklination on October 12, 2010.

2 Responses to “You Must be Tired ‘Cause …”

  1. Trust me: Your suitor will be thrown.

  2. I loved this post! I’m still laughing! I can’t wait to tell someone “I hate fun.”

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