Lady in a Blue Dress

“Do you have problems with your thyroids?” the woman donning a blue wrap dress I’d never seen before randomly asked me.

I looked at her quizzically trying to quickly figure why she’d asked such a question.

“Why? Because I have big eyes?” I asked in response.

“No,” she said graciously touching her neck in the thyroid vicinity. So I did, too.

My hand landed on my double chin and stayed there for the duration of the conversation.

“Next time you go to the doctor, just ask him to check your thyroid. It looks like you have a goiter,” Ms. Blue Wrap Dress explained.

I looked at her stunned. I was taken aback a bit.

“Have you lost or gained a lot of weight recently?” she tested me further.

“No, I’ve been this same fat for a while now,” I told her, still cupping under my primary chin like something was going to gush out any second.

“I don’t mean to scare you,” she said. “I just … a lot of my family members have had problems with goiters, and when I see someone who looks like they might have an issue with them, I just feel like I have to say something.”

And say something she did.

“Has anyone in your family ever had issues with their thyroids?”

“Man. She’s relentless,” I thought. “She’s just going to make me sick.”

Instead I said, “Yes, my mom had Grave’s disease.”

“See there,” she said shaking her head in the affirmative. She was satisfied with her diagnosis. I wasn’t.

We went on chatting, eventually introducing ourselves then talking about other things, but when it crossed my mind again, my hand found its way under my chin to make sure the potential goiter wasn’t boring its way out of my brown skin.

As our conversation wrapped, I looked at her and asked, “Do I have HIV, too?”

She and our mutual friend laughed heartily. “She’s so crazy!” our friend said.

I looked, awaiting an answer, knowing I hadn’t done anything recently or in recent history to contract the virus. But I just noticed she never answered my question. Oh great. I have goiters and HIV. Dr. McKibben, here I come.

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~ by MsInklination on September 21, 2010.

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