ABC News: Why 42% of Black Women are Single

A few observations/thoughts:

1. When did they send out the memo that you’re supposed to make a list of things you want in a man? I’ve met many a woman who has a long list of must-haves, most of which are superficial, for a potential partner. It’s almost commonplace. And they all seem to keep the lists in their bibles. How did I miss that’s what I was supposed to do? And if these women are still single and I’m still single, does the bible-hidden list really make a difference?
2. Could I seriously date a white man? Wouldn’t I get on his nerves with all my race talk?
3. Is it safe to assume, especially after going out the other weekend, that my potential partner will be found on eHarmony? Are the men there truly dateable?
4. Do my girlfriends and I sound like these women when we talk about the single life?
5. I’m so tired of that Beyonce “Single Ladies” song.
6. I don’t think they ever established it: Why are 42% of black women single?

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~ by MsInklination on January 4, 2010.

6 Responses to “ABC News: Why 42% of Black Women are Single”

  1. They’re always doing that elimination stuff for the eligible black men.

    *mocking* “X% is this. X% is that.”

    They never do it for the black women. Some of the black women are incarcerated, uneducated, jobless, blah blah blah too.

    Equalizing those elimination tactics would change the “black man to black women” ratio.

    And so what!

    These elimination criteria are not permanent circumstances anyway (at least not in the Kingdom I’m a part of). There are no shortages in God’s Kingdom.

    There is, however, a shortage of faith among many of His people. Selah.

    • You know what? It rarely crosses my mind that in a lot of ways these percentages, even if we take them as undeniably true are also undeniably deceptive. The men to women ration is, of course, askew because that’s the way it is (not just in the black community). But we cannot allow the sensationalizing of this whole thing let us ignore the fact that every black woman isn’t eligible herself. There are numbers of us who are in prison, without jobs or degrees, lesbians or simply not interested in being in a relationship.

      And while I understand the whole overwhelming numbers comparison thing, I, personally only need one man. Not 17!

  2. Quick thoughts:

    1. The “Man I Want List” in the bible started with churches reading Habakkuk 2:2 and telling the participants in their singles ministries to do so. Never understood why you would make such lists though. You should know what you like and don’t like.

    2. Why black women are single?

    a. If you had 100 eligible black men only 50% would be in the running to marry due to population, education, lack of employment, and incarceration.

    b. The piece also pointed out how “picky” single black women are with the remaining 50 dudes left to choose from.

    3. White America began to examine this not-new-to-us phenomena when the statistics came out a few years ago that 1 million black men were in jail and there were almost triple the number of black women with college degrees than black men. They like to know what’s going on with us socially. Be happy they are concerned with our well-being. Oh and you can’t block out the rise in interracial marriages. Too many of their daughters are bringing home Tyrone and they needed to figure out why Tyrone wasn’t with you.

    In closing, if single black women want to get married: throw away your standards and stop being so darn picky, don’t get an education, don’t use birth control (how else will you increase the black male population)and be more like your white single counterparts.

    I don’t see how you all missed that from the piece.

  3. Being you is all that is really required, it’s not an easy task to be you and think like someone else.I have a strong feeling that those women and you will find your mate.They may need to look outside of Atlanta, though there a lot of men lovers down there which may be making it harder to find someone.

  4. You’ve asked a doggone good question. I wonder this myself. What is it about a black woman’s difficulty to find a compatible black mate that appeals to the mainstream?

    I am the age of the women in the clip, and while my professional career doesn’t look the same on a resume as a chemist’s or a prosecutor’s, I do kind of have most of my ish together. And on a bad day, I, too, feel the “woe is me, is it ever going to happen for me?” angst when it comes to finding a life partner. But there’s something about me that’s different than these women–at least the way they’re presented on this clip. I’m not sure what it is. But this I know for sure: Relational reciprocity makes the world (that is the relationship) go ’round. I’m tired of acting like a woman and thinking like a man as Steve Harvey suggests I do. I just want to be me. And maybe that’s the problem?!

  5. Why is it now that this is the topic for discussion in white America? This same subject has been talked about in homes,salons, restaurants,etc.for a long time. I understand that I am not the same age as the ladies in the clip and I also have not reached the professional levels they have. I do however understand their plight. I received some very good advice one day and I pass it on to women (especially those of my hue)every chance I get. “Don’t be so picky that you pick over the one you’re supposed to be with just because he doesn’t instantly meet all your specifications.”

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