Let’s Break a Deal

There’s a relationship theme that keeps reoccurring in many of my conversations over the past several weeks: relationship expectations, must haves and can’t stands. The older I get, the more I accept the fact that when we state our expectations we leave those to whom we state them with two options. They will either adjust their wiles accordingly (i.e., get in where they fit in) or walk away (i.e., walk away). Either way, standard staters are the victors. The largest issue, though, is deciding the standards one will set—what the deal breakers are.

Well, I came up with a list of things that aren’t deal breakers, necessarily, but they sure annoy the sh—loving feeling out of me. This list, by the way, is not exhaustive.

A man …

1. … who wears athletic socks with anything other than athletic shoes.
2. … who has dirty ears and/or fingernails.
3. … who drives a car without a tag and/or car insurance. (If you can’t afford the car and the insurance, you can’t afford the car. It’s a part of the car-driving experience.)
4. … who idolizes Ray-J and thinks R. Kelly, post trial, is still “the man.”
5. … who doesn’t read my work.
6. … who doesn’t read.
7. … who can’t read.
8. … who uses a Motorolla Razr as his mobile phone.
9. … who doesn’t know how to say “no,” especially to his mother or ex.
10. … who doesn’t eat vegetables or fruit on a regular basis.
11. … who still believes in Santa Claus.
12. … who knows more lyrics to India.Arie, Jill Scott or Erykah Badu songs than I do.
13. … who doesn’t know the chorus to at least one hip-hop joint.
14. … who thinks real men don’t cry or wear pink.
15. … who’s broke. More specifically, one who can’t scrape up $2. It’s no secret, though I’m not boasting about it: I’m poor. I’ve bounced checks; I’ve had to turn down offers to go shopping because my credit card was maxed out and I knew a window shopping excursion would only depress me. Those times are increasingly few and far in between, thank goodness, but there are still times when I sit, waiting for the mail carrier to come and bring my check. Trust and believe, however, if I need to scrounge around my apartment to find $2 to buy … a bag of ice, I bet you $2 more I could. I’m not looking for someone to pay my bills. I’ve made it thus far doing my fair share of struggling, so I will be able to continue to do that. But if a man can’t manage his money at least as well as I handle mine (i.e., find $2 upon request), he probably won’t be able to take me out for a meal (and that’s when the magic starts to happen).


~ by MsInklination on November 30, 2009.

3 Responses to “Let’s Break a Deal”

  1. […] since we’d met still didn’t have a tag on it (fourth red flag and a thing I can’t stand; see here); the list goes on. I decided Fazoli’s would be a nice place—cheap, tasty and low key. Off we […]

  2. Gold teeth! I forgot about gold teeth.

    A man …

    16. … who decorates his mouth with gold, diamonds or any other such thing.

  3. LOL at number 8! I thought I was the only one who thought those were the most played out phones! These are good points though.

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