Real Men Wear Gators

It’s no secret. I love shoes. I–and I’m not saying this for hyperbole’s sake–had a dream about a pair of shoes last night. But Tank Jones? Tank Jones, Anchorage-based-private-investigator-turned-Levi-Johnston’s-(Sarah Palin’s daughter’s semen sever)-bodyguard, must really wake up every morning for an opportunity to wear a pair of his shoes. Especially these gators of his. Or perhaps these, in particular, were the first big purchase he made with his Johnston payroll check. These shoes would make the Big Tymers proud, though Mr. Bodyguard’s suit clearly isn’t made by Gucci.

Tank Jones

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~ by MsInklination on November 5, 2009.

2 Responses to “Real Men Wear Gators”

  1. Wait, wait, wait – Levi Johnston has a bodyguard? I’m surprised Levi can afford a bodyguard who can afford 3rd-hand Converse, let alone gators.

    • I think once you pose nude for Playgirl, you’re required to have a bodyguard, so he’s just getting a jumpstart on his holiday national peen premiere. And with all of those women chasing after him since he and Bristol are no longer knocking the boots. By the way, the trainer Johnston hired, Marvin Jones, who’re responsible for getting his body buff so he can earn those six figures he’s slated to earn says that moose meat is good for you–lean and high in protein.

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