A Foreigner’s Home Country

I’ve been back in Magnolia for a little more than two weeks now (oh how time flies), and it’s one the strangest phenoms I’ve ever experienced. It was nothing like a Prodigal Daughter’s return. That one would have been cuter to write about. There was no fatted calf (though I wouldn’t eat it anyway) or luxurious coat (It’s still summer, maybe that has something to do with it?) or libations and no music. Well, there was good music, but one out of four. Yeah, that’s nothing to brag about.

Many things here are just as I left them. My friends still live in the same places … except one. I had one casualty. Lost a friend. Well, she’s not lost; I know where she. But … Well, I’d better not touch on that. It shall remain cocktail chatter. Cocktails anyone?

So yeah. My friends are all still in place. My favorite restaurants still serve great food–food I couldn’t get in The Windy like Stamp’s super(turkey)burgers and seven-layer bars from Broadstreet Bakery.The best pedicure below the Mason Dixon line you can only get at Fondren Nails is still available. And then there’s all of the new construction in the metropolitan area, to include two new shopping centers that I will probably never see the inside of, since I try to spend my money in the capital city. The list goes on. But in so many ways, some that have still proven themselves inarticulable, everything has changed. Little is different, but everything has changed.

I’ve most certainly changed, so I’m not sure why I expected that others and things wouldn’t have. It’s almost self-aggrandizing of me to think things would be paused just because I’d left and would continue playing upon my return, as if I were the holder of the life remote control. Shux, I can’t even get my own life to pause when I want it to, so how could I do that kind of damage (or extend that kind of grace, depending on how you look at it) to someone else’s life. Even if I could, though, would I? Wouldn’t that be contradictory of my personal philosophy about self growth and expansion? I’ve digressed. I do a lot of that these days.

So the people with whom I once spent much of my time and life with prior to leaving have fashioned lives without me over the years, and I’m still trying to figure out where and how I fit into their lives and they in mine. Strangely, it’s a lot like when I was getting settled in a new city. Honestly, it’s just like that except I don’t have to learn new streets and train myself to remember that the Dan Ryan runs north and south, though the signs indicate that it’s 90/94 east and west. That consistently threw me off for at least six months. If you’re on 94W, you’re going north; 94E, south.

In the new city, I knew no one. In my home land, I don’t know the people my friends and associates have become. I don’t know that I can stay away from the DSW they’ve built in Rankin County. I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to continue eating the fresh-cut french fries sprinkled with lemon pepper and cajun seasoning at Stamp’s and not gain 20 pounds by Christmas. Or how I’m going to get food when I don’t have the energy to leave the house, since everywhere in the new city delivered and only Pizza Hut and Poppa John’s does here.

This foreigner thing is going to be a much larger adjustment than I anticipated. … at least I speak the language. … unless that’s different, too.

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~ by MsInklination on September 8, 2009.

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