“The Way to My Heart is Good”
My mature self thinks: “Poor Tiffany. She needs a role model. She needs friends. She needs to be stretched.
My immature self thinks: “WHY DOES SHE TALK LIKE THAT AND WHAT THE HECK IS SHE SAYING?!?!” Then I laugh uncontrollably . And then I repeat all of the ridiculous things Ms. Tiffany says, like, “The sexiest thing about me, I. can. not. tell you” and “I’m not all that ugly.”
But then my mature self takes over and says, “I’ve got to make a greater contribution to the world around me.”
I’m tired. I’m sorry. It’s funny, but it’s not.

where do you find this stuff?
Wouldn’t you like to know?!
I think she’s on the crack.